Animals make news at live Nativity scenes

A couple of interesting news items happened over the Christmas weekend involving live Nativity scenes.

First, a goat in Minnesota fled the scene from a Nativity at Bethlehem Church in Fergus Falls, Minn. The 3-year-old Angora goat escaped its leash on Christmas Eve afternoon and remained on the lam on Monday.

The goat's owner said he tried to chase the animal for two hours, but a lack of snow made tracking it difficult.

There was some happier news Christmas Eve involving a Nativity display at The Krohn Conservatory in Cincinnati.

There, the conservatory reports, a night watchman oversaw the delivery for a sheep that was part of the live animal display. Officials say the birthing went well and the mother and lamb were doing fine.

 Officials said they may name the female lamb "Merry."

Hard to keep a good Lab down

My black Labrador Disney -- wearing a cone
because of her knee surgery -- lays in the yard.

Disney poses for a photo after getting a bath
months before her knee surgery.

 

 

For the past eight weeks, my wife Sharon and I have been health care workers. But we weren’t providing care to an ill child, or comfort to a relative. No, our patient has been our 10-year-old black Labrador, Disney.

In early October, Sharon and I were walking our two dogs when Disney lunged toward a pack of dogs that was being walked on the other side of the street and suddenly started limping on her right rear leg. Naturally, we were at the farthest point from our house, so I walked back home with the other dog to get the car to return and pick up Sharon and Disney.

The next day I took Disney to the vet. The diagnosis was a cruciate ligament tear. I was surprised, but apparently this injury is very common among Labradors, especially aging ones.

A few days later Disney had an appointment with an orthopedic specialist, who confirmed the diagnosis and set up a time for surgery to fix “the football injury,” as he called it. The surgery went well, but the doctor also found severe arthritis in the knee. I felt a little sad when Disney was brought out wearing a plastic cone around her head to keep her from picking at her sutures and with her right hind quarter shaved.

We received a long list of discharge instructions to help Disney in her recovery, among them changing her diet, limiting walks to “elimination” only, and keeping her confined — for 8 weeks!!!

That last one was going to be a little difficult for a dog that has had the run of the house for the past 10 years. The surgeon wanted us to keep Disney in a room about the size of a doctor’s examination room. But living in a two-story townhome, there are no small rooms on the first floor.

So we had to make do. We have some paneling in the basement, so we used a piece or two as a divider between the living and dining rooms. And to aid the “elimination” process, my dad built a ramp out of plywood to put on the deck so Disney could avoid using the steps.

For the first week of Disney’s recovery, I slept on a couch in the living room. No, I wasn’t in the dog house. But Sharon and I agreed that was probably best to keep Disney from whimpering. The patient also needed pain medication three times a day, and one of those times was usually around 2 a.m. — or whenever I woke up in the middle of the night.

But after that first week we needed another confinement plan. Disney learned that by using her cone, she could move the paneling and walk around downstairs. So we borrowed some baby fencing from our oldest daughter and set up a small pen for Disney in the dining room.

Her recovery was going well. Two weeks after the procedure, she returned to the surgeon to get the sutures out and lose the “cone of shame.”

But free of the cone, Disney was again using her ingenuity to get out of her confinement. She realized that if she put her nose on the floor, she could lift the pen and crawl underneath. It was a bit surprising to come home from work some nights and see that Disney had escaped. This happened so many times, we called her “HouDisney.”

I know she didn’t understand why she had to be confined, and probably thought she was being punished. But it’s not like I could talk to the patient and tell her about the recovery process.

Another two weeks passed quietly and a first set of X-rays on the repaired knee showed good progress. But then the surgeon said something that caused me a lot of angst: because her knee was healing, Disney would want to be more active and therefore her confinement had to be more strict.
He wasn’t kidding. The past four weeks have not been easy.

We used dining room chairs as clamps to keep Disney from getting out of the makeshift pen, but that didn’t stop her. She still managed to escape a few times. The issue was especially bad when we went to bed and Disney had to stay downstairs. For a couple nights in a row, we could hear the rustling of Disney trying to get out.

In one instance, Sharon went downstairs to scold Disney and saw her trying to CLIMB out of the pen. That was the last straw. So at 10:30 on this particular night, we were at Walmart buying a crate for our ornery patient. Disney didn’t like being crated, but we had to keep her as confined as possible. So close to the end of her recovery, we didn’t want her to screw up the surgery.

Being the stubborn old lady that she is, Disney hasn’t gone in the crate willingly. We’ve had to put a leash on her, then walk her into the crate. But she gets something out of it, because the only way Sharon or I could get her to move was when we said “treat.”

Disney’s final X-rays were scheduled for Saturday. To be honest, when we’ve been home we haven’t kept her totally confined. On Thanksgiving, she was walking around a lot as we entertained a house full of people, and she’s also climbed the stairs once or twice over the past 10 days.

She seems to be recovering nicely. Disney’s moving around about as well as she did before her injury — with a slight limp — so I expect the X-rays to show she is nearly healed. And based on inquiries from our neighbors, Disney’s been missed my many.

Our work isn’t done, however. Next are weeks of rehabilitation as we have to build up the strength in Disney’s injured leg. I only hope the rehab process is a little less aggravating than her recovery.

Mike Spohn is The Mercury’s Sunday editor. You can e-mail him at mspohn@pottsmerc.com, or follow him on Twitter @Merc_Mike.

If the Bradys used Twitter

I'm a fan of "The Brady Bunch," so I had to open an e-mail I received recently.

The e-mail was for an article from another blog titled "5 Ways the Brady Bunch Could Have Used Twitter".

When "The Brady Bunch" debuted in 1969, there were no personal computers, no e-mail, no smart phones. Only letters, snail mail and land lines. As the article states," there was no 'virtual' reality, just 'real' reality." This article looks out how some of the situations the Bradys got into would be different today.

One example was the episode where Mr. Brady installed a pay phone in an effort to keep the telephone bill lower. Today, Mike would be upset over the kids' cell phone use, complaining that they weren't using unlimited texting or tweeting their friends.

The article gave four other examples, but here are some of my own:

• After Marcia was hit in the face by an errant photo, she would have been tweeting "oh my #nose, oh my #nose."
• When Peter knocked out the neighborhood bully, his tweet could have been "take that #Buddy #Hinton."
• While Greg and Bobby were locked in the freezer at Sam's Butcher Shop, Greg could have asked for help: "Locked in #freezer @SamsButcherShop. Please #help."

Well, you get the point. "The Brady Bunch" in 2011 would be a lot different than it was 40 years ago.

Can you think of other examples? Leave a comment or e-mail me at mcspohn@gmail.com

Eating while driving

Oak Park, Ill., is trying to crack down on distracted drivers.

A story came out recently that lawmakers in the community outside of Chicago want to create a comprehensive bill banning all distractions while driving. That means talking, texting, grooming and yes, apparently, even eating.

According to this story from the Chicago Tribune, if Oak Park ultimately passes an outright ban on eating while driving, it might become one of the first in the nation to do so.

Oak Park Village Trustee Colette Lueck, who is initiating the push against distracted driving, said she would like to ban applying make-up or drinking, in addition to eating and cell phone use.

“To me, this is an issue of public safety,” she said. “This isn’t government overreach; this is the government protecting people. Distracted driving puts everyone on the road in danger.”

Almost anything could be considered a distraction while driving: fiddling with a car radio or CD player; scratching an itch or blowing your nose. More and more, municipalities are allowing digital billboards along their roads and highways. Who's paying attention to the road when their watching the signs change?

Eating while driving a distraction? Yeah, probably. And if it is, I'm guilty.

It's almost a pre-requisite as a journalist to master the art of eating while driving.

In my former journalistic life as a high school sports writer for a weekly newspaper, eating in my car was essential. There were many Fridays or Saturdays in the fall where I would cover a football game in the afternoon, then another that night. The only way to find time to eat was to go through a fast-food drive-thru and scarf down a burger and fries on my way to the next event.

I wrote a column in the late 90s on the best fast food to eat while driving. (Unfortunately, that column is unavailable on The Mercury's website.) At the time, my unscientific study revealed that is was a McDonald's quarter-pounder with cheese. Now, it would be anything off a fast-food restaurant's value menu.

I don't eat as much in my car as I once did, but when I do, it's usually a breakfast sandwich or pastry instead of a burger and fries. And I don't believe it's ever been a distraction.

If you can't master the art of eating while driving, you mustn't be much of a driver!

Are "The Simpsons" nearing an end?

I"ve been a fan of "The Simpsons" since it first started on FOX in 1989 and for years it was the best show on television. But now, the longest-running animated TV show in history may not make it much further.

"The Simpsons" producer said Tuesday that the show's current financial model may keep it from continuing. A report said that producers are demanding a 45 percent pay cut from the six voice actors, who reportedly make nearly $8 million each for a season. The website said the voice actors have offered to take a 30 percent pay cut in return for a portion of the show's syndication and merchandise revenue.

According to the Associated Press, the Fox network reportedly loses money each year on new episodes, even as all the old episodes run in perpetuity in reruns and are a cash cow for producers and creators.

"The Simpsons" is averaging 7.1 million viewers for its new episodes this fall, down 14 percent from last year. Back in the 1991-92 season, an average of 21.7 million people watched it every week, Nielsen said.

For more, go here.

World Series or bust

Manager Charlie Manuel watches the Phillies
work out Friday at Citizens Bank Park. AP Photo

When the Phillies signed free-agent pitcher Cliff Lee in the offseason, they instantly become the favorites to win the World Series this year.
With a club-record 102 wins and a fifth straight National League East crown on their resume, the favored Phils begin their quest for a 3rd World Series title on Saturday against the St. Louis Cardinals.
Expectations are high, but there's a lot to be concerned about:

• The offense: Sure, this team stuggled A LOT to score runs. But I believe that with the regular lineup on the field since the acquisition of Hunter Pence, the team is undefeated. Yes, it's only a handful of games, but you get the point. Manager Charlie Manuel's late-season change to put Chase Utley in the No. 2 spot, Pence third and Shane Victorino fifth seems to be the best use of his personnel this postseason. The key will be leadoff man Jimmy Rollins. If he gets on base, it will have a trickle effect down the lineup and guys on base for cleanup hitter Ryan Howard, who knocked in 116 runs. As Rollins and Howard go, so go the Phillies.
• The bullpen: During the final month of the season, Antonio Bastardo, who dominated the first 5 months, struggled to get hitters out. As the lone lefty in the bullpen, his resurgence is crucial to postseason success. As is Brad Lidge. The former closer missed the first 3 months of the season with arm troubles, but was solid in the 2nd half of the year. He'll likely pitch in the 8th inning with the game on the line.
• Health: The Phillies struggled with injuries all season and they are the oldest team in the National League. Howard has a sore left ankle/heel that he will play through, but who knows how it will affect him at the plate. Third baseman Placido Polanco has had problems with an elbow and a sports hernia. Utley missed the first 2 months of the season with a knee issue, but seems healthy now. Rollins was on the disabled list recently with an injured calf. Ironically, left fielder Raul Ibanez, the oldest player on the team at 39, was one of the few regulars not to spend time on the disabled list.

Phillies players celebrate their fifth straight
National League East title. AP Photo.

But one thing not to be concerned about is the starting pitching. Roy Halladay, Lee, Cole Hamels and Roy Oswalt are all playoff tested. Oswalt missed two months with a back issue, but based off his performance in September, he's healthy. Halladay threw a no-hitter in his first postseason start last year. Cliff Lee is 7-2 in the postseason, his only losses coming in last year's World Series when he pitched for Texas. He was 4-0 with the Phillies in 2009. And Cole Hamels was the NLCS and World Series MVP in 2008.

The Cardinals, who ralled from an 8 1/2-game deficit to claim the Wild Card berth thanks to the Phillies' 3-game sweep of Atlanta in the season's final series, led the league in hitting and have future Hall of Famer Albert Pujols anchoring the lineup. But last year, the Reds led the league in hitting and the Phillies disposed of them in 3 games, including Halladay's no-hitter and a shutout from Hamels in Game 3.

This series will come down to the Phils' offense. If they can score 4 runs a game, they should have no problem with Halladay, Lee and Hamels lined up. They looked ready to go during their sweep of the Braves.

The Phillies are expected to get to -- if not win -- the World Series. Not winning the World Series will be a disappointment. Not getting there would be considered a failure. The Cardinals won the season series from the Phillies, 6 games to 3, which may cause some anxiety. But the Phillies are the better team, and they take their first step to the World Series against the Caridnals.

Phillies in 4.

Man gets 2 DUIs in 1 night

So much for learning a lesson.
Police in western Pennsylvania have charged a man with driving drunk twice in the same night.
According to the Associated Press, Robert Brodnick, 58, of Washington, was arrested twice by state police for DUI -- the second time about 15 minutes after they released him into the custody of a friend.

 Brodnick's blood-alcohol limit was at least double what the law allows when he was arrested, police charge. Trooper Joseph Christy says troopers released Brodnick to the custody of a "responsible party" but say that person must have dropped of Brodnick at his vehicle because the same trooper who arrested Brodnick saw him driving again.
Brodnick tells WPXI-TV that he had two or three beers and just wanted to drive his new car home.